i need help.

so someone needs to help me understand this concept of this...of open relationships. because i think im going to find myself in one pretty soon. i think that its totally okay, dont get me wrong. ken is amazing, and i think im in love with him, or at least i could love him if he lived close enough that we could be together easily. i really really wish that i could be with him. and i would do just about anything to just be near to him. i havent given up on him and i never will. i dont think that i could. but obviously, chicago is way far away...and theres someone i see everyday that i really can see myself with, and really like. so what am i to do? my my my. if you have advice, lemme know. please.

today was chill. i interviewed an extremely hot kid named jake thats a musician as well as a senior. and he gave me his cell number at the end of the interview, in case i had any more questions. hmm...yeah, only about a thousand. first of which is: will you marry me? not really, but man. and this stoner kid in my drawing class, chris meyers thinks that im hot, i guess. or at least thats what he told bri. hes not too bad himself...he has really cool hair. dreadlocks. i dont know what it is about lately, but i just have a few too many boys hanging around. i just dont know what to do with them all. and its all at once, too. theres that unnamable person and ken. and steven. its a little too much for me right now. but it makes school super interesting, and im not gonna say that i dont enjoy the attention. things are going well right now.

then theres golf. we had another team dinner, which was basically us just cracking up for about three hours straight. we were looking through a yearbook and whatnot, and it was intensely amazing. i really do love them. except maybe goblah. but yknow. the regional is on saturday, and im nervous. but i dont know. hopefully things will go good and well go on to state. that would be amazing! so im going to play tomorrow with dad and velpel and her dad, and its about to be hilarious.

so im going to bed, because its an early morning tomorrow. ugh. like usual.
love, kaatie