pms is quite a bitch.

again, nothing happened today. and again, im so angry at absolutely nothing that i dont know what to do with myself. i was reading the joy luck club, my project book, but after about 250 pages, that got boring. that suprises me a little bit, because its one of my favorite books. amy tan is amazing. i wonder what shes like..i bet shes a lot like me, because i can identify with almost every single line of every book of hers that ive ever read. even the parts about moms and love, like in the bonesetter's daughter and the joy luck club. i thought that i was the only one who felt like this, but no. a chinese lady whose name is far more common than mine feels the same way. it makes me feel a little better, i guess, to read exactly what im thinking. because lately its been hard to voice exactly what that is? it sucks to feel something and then try to talk about it and not be able to say what youre thinking and then the conversation goes no where and then you just feel worse than you started off. believe me, i know. it happens about every time ive talked to zach lately, which isnt very lately. last night was the first time since he left for buffalo on tuesday. he said that he was going to dugans or pats or mikes tonight and that he would steal a phone and call me, but he wont. he never does, even when hes at home. oh well. ill sit with my phone right next to me turned up as loud as it can go and feel pathetic for yet another night. i still dont know exactly how i feel about him. i suppose i dont ever really have to figure that one out, though. but it sure would help alot. then we could spend our phone conversations talking about important stuff, instead of having those confusing, unsettling conversations that blur together so i cant remember what i actually said or just thought, what he actually said or i just wished he would say. ugh. wow.

i survived the first full week of golf! we got sixth in the northrop invitational, which makes our record 16-9, i think. something like that. were off this weekend, then back to colonial oaks on monday for a threeway with northrop and leo. which well lose, most likely. colonial is a bitch. anyway, more project to do. im almost done!
love, kaatie