purpose.

ive been thinking about purpose. not the classic 'why am i here, what am i supposed to accomplish with my life.' that has never really been an issue for me because i dont really care what i was 'predestined' to do. im going to live it moment by moment, not actively trying to change the world. i want to change the world by just being me, and doing what i want to do. i dont have that overwhelming need to feel important like some people, but i do think that some of my ideas could be key to making the world better. not pompously, of course, but i see things differently than other people. i think thats why its so crucial for me to express the way i feel, whether if be with a drawing, a photograph, or a poem. i just want my ideas to get out there. thats why i have this blog, i suppose.

that was a tangent. back to the original train of thought: the purpose of what i do. for a teenager, i have a strangely packed schedule. hard classes at school. newspaper. golf. softball. hockey. riding. finding ways to generate money, be it a job or babysitting. then theres just being a teen: movies, mall, hanging out with friends. it just seems like with everything ive committed myself takes too much time away from doing what i really want to do. yes, i enjoy playing all of the sports that i play. and there is a point to it, i guess, if sucess at sports is a point. because im good at all of them. but it just occurred to me last night while i was talking to erica about the future; i thought of something that id definately never considered before. she said that it was a wierd concept for her to imagine anyone wanting to go without riding horses for an extended period of time, and i agreed with her, except i know im going to have to give it up eventually because im going to live in the city. same with hockey and softball [probably not golf, because thats something that you can do your whole life]. but then i got to thinking: why do i waste my whole summers on things that im not going to use after highschool? but then again, what else would i do with all of the free time? i think its because i like to be busy, and i like to be known as someone who's very talented and sucessful. even so. im looking forward to a slowdown after i graduate.

probably blog. lol. im going to keep thinking about this one, and probably not reach a conclusive decision. this whole pms mood sucks.
love,kaatie

WARPED IS TOMORROW! YAYYYYYY!