the lovesick, political cynic.

independence day, puke. president bush, let me buy you a drink, so you can congratulate yourself on being the leader of the country that has appointed itself the master of the universe. yay america! responsible for thousands of iraqi civilian deaths, the deaths of american soldiers! yay for the price of oil being through the ceiling! yay! lets all get drunk and then blow our hands off with fireworks! our planet needs the scorch marks on her lovely surface.. it adds a nice touch to the global warming and exterminated forests and depleted resources. yeah, bush, let me buy you a beer. obama 08, baby.

i love fireworks...i think if you found a good secluded spot and settled down in the grass with your boyfriend and a bottle of wine, it would be pretty romantic. not that i have any experiance with that kind of thing..romance and whatnot. im pretty sure the love related feelings i feel are either pure chemistry or pure desperation. sometimes it just clicks. equals chemistry. but that never lasts long, and the relationship fizzles out. that happens quite alot, actually. but then theres the feeling when you like someone so much that it terrifies you.. that if it doesnt work between you, you honestly have no idea what you would do. its a horrible feeling, but then theres the moments when you can truely tell yourself, no.. he really does love me. some advice: always keep the upper hand. because if you dont, your everything is in his hands. its no picnic. ive cryed myself to sleep over this once this week.. i dont like it. but i love him. oh, so bittersweet.

enough of that. we made a slip-n-slide today, which was a bitchin time, let me tell you. whoaaa. soapy good times. no alcohol was consumed by me. the fireworks were tight. still no call from my boyfriend who seems to be mia. its day four of extremely pissy mood. my fam is feeling the effects. tomorrow im golfing with ethan and maddie and andrew. which sounds like a double date, but isnt. shall be interesting. too bad i cant bring my date. DAMN FAMILY VACATION.. no offense if zach is reading this. but seriously. hmm.. i drove on an actual road for the first time today and it was terrifying. no one died. when i got home, i was trembling. i dont understand how people can talk on the phone and drive at the same time. it would be challenging, says me, whos undiagnosed mentally retarded and dyslexic. lol. not really. but i do have trouble with left and right and turn signals and i learned that the brake lights were automatic today. drivers ed starts monday. ill pay attention, i promise.

i think ill go toss and turn and think about him and wish he was next to me and end up not sleeping until two or three hours from now. goodnight.
love, kaatie