scrambled, again.

this weekend was fun. sorry that its been a while, but yknow. softball tournaments take a lot out of you. and so does laser tag. like whoaa.

ive been in a interesting mood lately. its not lonely, exactly, because ive actually been seeing people more recently. yay drivers training.. its an excuse to miss stuff [mainly riding and babysitting, which means fundage is low, but i deal]. some strange things have just been happening, and im reacting in ways i never expected i react. things that i thought id never forgive im letting go, and its just making me think. im not sure im ready to forget, just like that. but im not sure. im just not suree... and then theres other things that might not have bothered me before than bother me now. idk. im just glad that i have people to lean on. :]

stevens mad at me, which i never thought id be able to accomplish but finally have. and i dont care. honestly, if he never talked to me again, that would be fine. but as i type that, i can see myself in the future changing my mind. people whove been your best friend always have that extra change buried deep in your heart. im learning that. if i love and trust someone enough to tell them anything, its hard for me to shut them out completely, however much they hurt me. ill be mad for a while, but i think all i really need is a chance to cool off. that could be good or bad. i might be getting walked all over, but maybe im just being the bigger person. as long as im cautious, it might be alright in the end. plus, if you held grudges against everyone, you wouldnt ever have any friends!

this is random: i think that doing anything sexual with all of your big brothers friends is a little slutty. no one else seems to think so. but it is. just putting that out there.

its 11:11, and i wished. now im thinking about that, and its going fabulously. i have quite an active imagination, which makes things like that fun. it also makes being apart difficult, because if my mind isnt directly occupied with something else, it usually wanders back to zach. im a dreamer..

the instrumental part of i will possess your heart is quite good. but its by death cab for cutie, so it should be. and while im thinking about it.. 7 things would be good if it was by anyone other than miley cyrus. i passionately hate that girl.. as well as the rest of the disney channel. theyre trying to take over the world, i swear.

well, im off.
love, kaatie