todays and tomorrows.

so, the yellow team, consisting of jason appel, karri and i definately dominated in flyness at the newspaper lazer tag extravaganza. we had some amazing black bandanas, which lead kyle rich, this kid that would be amazingly cute if he wasnt a complete douche bag and didnt hang out with the dumb popular kids, to name us the bandana sisters. which well probably be calling eachother til the end of eternity now. the newspaper staff was just as cohesive out of school as it is during fifth period, though it does get a little bit clicquey at times. which is okay, i guess, since we cant all be friends. but most of us are, and i think thats so cool. i mean, i know that ive talked about it before, but honestly. like DW and karri and now, jason appel, are some of my best friends. and what other club spawns bestfriendships? certainly not chess club, id wager. but anyway, i looked badass in my mafia bandada, check the facebook for pictures. oh and APPARENTLY one of sarah's friends met zach, and im a dyke now, according to him. i dont know how that happened, since we went out and everything. i laughed at the story, but i'd really like to punch him in the face. too bad i probably won't have a chance to do that any time soon.

my parents decided to let me go with mil and karri to kalamazoo! suprising right?! ohh my goodness, im so freaking excited i dont even know if i'll be able to sleep tonight. thats more than twenty four hours with mil...its exactly what i feel like we need. i didnt really get a chance to hang out with him today, but i did see him a couple times getting karri and taking her home. it was like a weight was lifted off my shoulders to see him, to talk to him, to kiss him finally, after that long week of being apart. im a little nervous though, since its going to be an overnight thing. because i dont want him to see me all disgusting...definately not because i think anything sexual in nature is going to happen, because i know for certain that it wont. because i dont want to, and neither does mil. we both know that we arent ready, which is a good feeling since i know i dont have to worry about the 'negative side effects' generally associated with sex. we have something good going on right now, we dont need to fuck that up with that extra complication to the relationship. i know im not mature enough to deal with that...im just glad that im smart enough to figure that out on my own. some girls arent as lucky i guess, and they end up crossing the line and regretting it. well, i dont regret things. thats why i think long and hard about this stuff i guess...but anyway. karri says there's nothing to do at these people's house, so i guess we'll just be sitting around. which is good, i guess. watch the ball drop, consume liquids sparkling in nature, then sleep. ohhh, it would be nice to fall asleep with him, to wake up in his arms....and its possible. life is good.

i realize that this could possibly be my last post of the year two thousand and eight, which makes me feel slightly excited, but also, kind of sad. so much has happened this year, for better and for worse, but overall, id say that i improved over the course of it. im much more concious, thoughtful, and forward thinking than i was at the beginning of the year. i think before i act now, to an extent, and i made leaps and bounds in discovering who i am. i think that the most important thing i accomplished, however, was learn how to keep myself happy. last year, i let myself get sucked back into the same thing over and over again, and it wore on me. but now i know that i can get past it, and sometimes its better to just let go. ive hardened myself, made myself stronger. i can deal with people that talk shit better than i could before. maybe thats bad though, since people are talking shit. ohh well, i guess they're just jealous? who knows. i've made and lost and strengthened friendships, like i will continue to do throughout my life. when i think about it, i dont really know why people hype new years up so much, besides the fact that its a drinking holiday, and everyone loves those. i mean, today is a day and so is tomorrow...why are they different from all of the rest of the todays and tomorrows? life is not filed in chapters, that bind themselves together into a volume to be stored on a shelf until it is thick with dust and then read not often enough. if it were, with the way i live, i would burn those books. in life, i want to move forward, not waste ny time looking back.

so thats my single new years resolution: to keep going. in two thousand and nine, common era, i, katherine suzanne phipps vow to keep living my life with the intensity and the momentum that i know i deserve to enjoy.

love, kaatie